They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
