So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
