i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
