and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
