When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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