ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
