And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
