Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
