Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
