The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
