i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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