if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
