I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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