that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize
