hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
