the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
