Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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