He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I just shit out all my problems.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
