i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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