Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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