i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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