you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
