Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
