ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
