if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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