guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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