I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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