some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
