Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
