Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
