forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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