Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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