if i can run in heels then i can drive
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
