he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
