found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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