its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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