That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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