Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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