Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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