I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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