Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wish i was in the wii world.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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