Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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