He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
