Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
two words: eviction party
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
