He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
