wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
