That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
