I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
