Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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