dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Enjoy the penises
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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