What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
