His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
