i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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