Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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