i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
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well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
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I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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