I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
