My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
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I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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