I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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