Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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