Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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