oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it hurts more in the daytime
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize