"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
