Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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