google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
