whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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