ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
